This letter is a combination of thoughts and feelings from not just myself, but a few of my mom friends and family members. They are also thoughts that some moms may want to say to their partners, but don't have the courage to say. To all the moms out there, please know that you are not alone.
Dear significant other,
I hear you. I know that you work all day and you're tired when you get home. But guess what? YOU ARE STILL A PARENT. While you're working all day, I am working all day caring for your children. I am working all night caring for them while you sleep the night away. Then I do it all over again.
I am exhausted! And if I was the one going out to work, I would STILL be the one caring for the children WE created TOGETHER. So when you clock out from being an employee, you clock in as a parent. And I expect you to relieve me when you get home. After you have settled down of course. Because after all, you worked hard today. I acknowledge that.
I've gone days without a proper shower because I have no time. It's going on day two of wearing these leggings. Bathing the children are more important. You get to shower when you want without thought. When I want to shower, I can't just go shower. I have to announce it, otherwise, you won't pay attention to the children since I'm usually the one keeping an eye on them.
If I don't feed them, you won't do it. If I don't change diapers, you won't do it. If I don't bathe them, you won't do it. Why? Because it's not something you think about unless I ask you to. You won't do it on your own.
It pisses me off when you call me 5 times while I'm at the store because you can't figure out why the baby is crying. Yet it's something I deal with for hours every day. You can't even last for 30 minutes without needing my help. But me, I get no help from you, and you don't even offer. I bet you wouldn't know where to start when it comes to making doctors appointments. I'd be surprised if you knew about any allergies.
Oh, and tell your mother to mind her own tits Stop worrying about why I'm still breastfeeding. When did it become normal for anyone to speak about what soneone else is doing with their own breasts? Especially when I'm literally just feeding my babies. Last time I checked, nobody is too old to eat.
And I'm tired of people telling me to "speak up, he can't read your mind." Oh please! You KNOW I'm caring for these children all day, that's pretty obvious. I shouldn't have to speak up about something you know I do all day. You should WANT to give me a break without me asking for one.
It's as simple as saying "baby, I know you're doing the best you can. I'll keep an eye on the kids, go take a hot bath and I'll order us some dinner so you don't have to cook. Then when the kids go to sleep we'll watch a movie and I'll rub your shoulders."
I just want you to understand.
A stay at home mom