I've been through hell and back. I'm actually surprised that I don't look older than I am due to all of the things I've experienced. I wish I could go back in time to leave myself letters of advice based on what I know now. What would I say? When would I start? I'd start with fifteen year old Princess.
"You're so young. I think you're very brave for doing what you did. You think it's great that your high school has a daycare center for teen moms, but you didn't want to be one of those girls. I know it wasn't an easy decision to make, but it would not have been ideal to have a baby right now. Just know that you made the best decision for you."
"Take that job. There aren't many places hiring 17 year olds. This will be a great start for your first resume and a great opportunity to meet different people that may be beneficial to you."
"Don't take it. What's on that piece of paper will destroy you. To be blunt, he will cause you to be homeless, a single parent, depressed...three years of your life will be wasted. Don't call him!"
"You're not happy, you just wanted your family together. But he acts like he doesn't care. Now that you left, he suddenly wants his family back. As bad as you want your family, just you, him and your baby girl; just know that turning him down was the right thing to do. It hurt, but it's ok, you can let go now."
"Don't drop out of nursing school. I know it's not what you really want to do, but since your grandparents are paying for tuition so you don't have to, take the opportunity. They've given you a car, pay for Janya's private preschool, and take care of all financial needs. This will help you to be able to do what you really want in the future. Don't fuck this up."
"He's like a breath of fresh air. He makes you remember that not all guys are bad. But he is not your forever. He is only here temporarily, to remind you that you are worth it. He's only here temporarily to show you who you what you deserve. I know, you'd like him to be your forever. But just because two people are good for each other, doesn't mean they're the one. Enjoy your time with him."
I could write so many letters to myself for different events in my life. I used to live with no regrets, but when I sit back and reflect on those moments I can honestly say that there are a few things that I would definitely change. I wish that I could actually see what my life would be like today if I had made different decisions back then.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my life as it is now. But I sometimes wonder, what if...